HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)


A group of young kids were asked how do you decide who to marry and here are the results which are very funny.

While there are some creepy things kids say now again these little fledglings seem to be getting it right from an early age.


(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kristen, age 10


(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
– Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)


(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8


(1) Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8


(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10


(1) I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9

    [SEE ALSO – Top 10 Ways To Escape A date From Hell]


(1) When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7

(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8


(1) I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
– Theodore, age 8

(2) It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9 (bless you child)


(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is……..


(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
– Ricky, age 10

    [CHECK OUT MORE FUNNY KIDS STUFF HERE –Daily WTF ‚Äď 10 Crazy Kids Fun Pics]

287 thoughts on “HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

  1. I had a daycare for 8 years and I am a mother of 3. I have heard such things (or very similar intelligence) from children in my day. These comments were definitely done by children and very intuitive ones at that. Children do say the darnedest things and it is never the same day twice. They pick up on many attitudes and phrases that most people would never think they would. There mind comprehends more than we understand they could. I found these answers to be profound and interesting for their ages…

  2. Kay123456789 
    I think you should proofread your stuff before posting so the kids who read this don’t learn bad habits.¬† Your punctuation isn’t quite there, grammar is sub par, one word sentences, and I do agree that these don’t sound like kids making these comments, even well educated ones.¬† Of course we all have our own opinions, and perhaps I, along with the others who think this way, are incorrect, but I hardly think these comments on the column would devastate any kids who may be reading these that may have also participated.¬† Just my two cents.

  3. Totally AWSOME
    The innocent of a child is so AMAZING .. I wish we could keep
    ALL children that way !!!
    is how they See things and Tell it like it is

  4. dawger1234¬†I didn’t take the comments that way at all…I just thought that ¬†kids who seemed to be talking beyond their years got those. I don’t hold marriage in a negative light at all. Hopefully I’ll get to be someone’s wife someday, but I would have made the same comments probably. (I guess I should also mention that I’m not hurt by past relationships. I waited until I was almost nineteen to date for the first time, and I’m still dating my first boyfriend-my best friend.) Please don’t think I’m trying to be rude, as I’m suggesting with the utmost respect that maybe one of us is taking those comments wrong. Granted, it could be me. Just a thought. God bless!

  5. Especially the kids with the names are so “unacceptable?”
    If there is kids reading this they should understand they are equal. And loved. And everything that happens in life is what they make of it

  6. You know what I find funny. All these people so quick to judge. And determine. If this is real. All the kids get to look at this and feel like they are a part of something big and cool. Then they read comments of PARENTS. And what are they going to think of those? Devistated. Give up on the big picture. Just because you raise your kid to be I dunno a word for it “blind” “ill educated” whatever. There’s a ton of kids. Ton of parents. Ton of views. Ton of ideas. And you know what, that’s life.

  7. j_smithyWhat makes you think it is fake!?  Kids say the darndest things!! You NEVER know where they pick it up from!!!

  8. interesting COMMENTS BY THE PERSON WHO WROTE THE COLUMN – Very negative about marriage – and deep hurt from a past relationship…

    Kids are great – But things like attitude and hate are taught by older people… its sad!

  9. Ricky wins. BMOC. Fullstop. That lad has gotten the gist of what the majority of men around the globe seem to be missing. Grats to his parents.

  10. Parents are the indoctrinators and have been since the beginning of mankind and always should be. Children learn from what they see and hear. Be great parents and teach good morals and as they grow they will carry those morals with them. They may not agree with yours completely but they will still be good morals.

  11. I think they learn – their thinking can be rather simplified at that age.¬† #1 is the scary one to me…kid thinks his wife should be there to bring him food while he bums around watching sports.¬† Terrible stereotype to grow up believing.

  12. He said family values… Not racism and bigotry. Nobody in their right mind would want to go back to that! Get a grip and actually read what was being said and take it for face value.

  13. devious333¬†fedupwithstupidpeople¬†shh.. let the ignorant rest within the confines of their labels, lol. ¬†They’ll find a way to vote for something stupid 2 seconds from now when their attention span has reached its current limit.

  14. @Sarah S¬†ūüôā something tells me this is not the first time you’ve found a reason pry-bar that story into a conversation, lol.

  15. @guest¬†KenzieVictoria¬†@someoneinchicagolovesyou¬†the problem is, a big part of “what someone is” is the environment they’re raised around. ¬†Do you think ppl naturally become cannibals? ¬†Ofc not… but there is an entire culture what it is not uncommon and is viewed with holiness.

    The issue being referred to is that kids with sexist ideas and attitudes are reflections of ¬†their parents and their environment, and have been passed those ideas from their parents and may well pass them on to yet another generation aside from the small percentage of kids who are self aware enough to think their way out of their parent’s indoctrination. ¬†Some of that indoctrination is good. ¬†Some, unquestionably bad.

    Pretending like this isn’t so and just saying inane silliness like ” I’m so sick of words with “ism” at the end. ¬†Be grateful you are so fortunate in your life to not be on the recieving end of much of the bigotry in the world, it is the only way you can say something as naive and childish as that.

  16. ArthurConlon¬†ppl like to be lied to. ¬†its a sad fact that they’d often rather be told a rosy lie than an honest truth when it comes to their life and living situation. ¬†The baby boomers are an entire generation that lived their life as a lie on credit cards pretending they had a level of wealth they never had. ¬†The rest of the nation will continue paying for it for decades, just like today’s working generation is paying for their SS, medicaire, etc. (which were legally requiredc to have been PRE FUNDED) which they didn’t pay for themselves due to continuously voting for the tax cutter rather than the honest person who will tell you that good things cost MONEY.

    So don’t even get started with that. ¬†Don’t expect something like a government to be HONEST. ¬†Expect it to be in your corner and lie as much as it has to to improve the quality of life for the greatest number of its citizens. ¬†Be in in terms of war, security, balancing economic policy… ¬†THAT is what government exists for.

  17. @kbr¬†– If kids have parents or older siblings in relationships, you can bet they’ve heard stuff like this, and they say what they hear.

  18. that #2 for “who you marry” is terrifying.¬† kids should not be indoctrinated to think they have no control over life choices.¬† that is scary.

  19. This was obviously supposed to be funny, not a life or death situation. Stop reading so far into everything, it’s a post meant to make you smile not criticize!

  20. Wow no make me a sandwich joke from the ten year old boys or jokes about buying more cooking utensils if you tick off the mrs, thank goodness a generation not yet touched by the internet

  21. Greater awareness of sexism, racism and homophobia. Laws put in place to prevent discrimination based on those factors, both in public and in the workplace. No racial segregation. Greater awareness of domestic violence and child abuse. Reproductive rights. That enough?

  22. Everyone is shamed into something they’re not. It’s called having a consciousness. You’d get high and drunk all day… if society didn’t tell you that wasn’t responsible. Public opinion does help… to an extent. It keeps us honest and function-able. However, there is a fine line between what we should change about ourselves due to public opinion.

  23. KenzieVictoria¬†I’m pretty sure these are from the 60s or 70s. ¬†I’ve read them on the internet before and it’s from an old talk show.

  24. These children’s answers are pretty good , I like the one girl Anita said that is okay for girls to be single
    But boys need someone to clean up there mess .

  25. Well everyone I’m 19 and I can say that compared to how me and some of my friends were as kids these answers are pretty tame compared to what we would say at their age. I am ashamed to admit but I saw swearing my head off before the end of 2nd grade. I was making sex jokes by 3rd grade (Thanks to my older cousin) and playing Wolfenstein 3D by 5th grade. Anyone who thinks kids of the aforementioned age couldn’t be saying things like that, well I will vouch that these are probably VERY true and word for word what kids would respond with.

  26. These are fantastic – and I’m pretty sure a good number of them are repeated word for word from the parents, like the six year old saying “No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.” FANTASTIC.

  27. QueenTakiyahNurAmin KenzieVictoria Zzalok devious333 @someoneinchicagolovesyou guest
    My 5-year-old brother (I am 23) lives in a house where my mother and father both work, (my mother longer hours than my father), my mother rarely cooks, or does “household duties”, and the hired housekeeper is never around when my brother is home. And still, this 5 year old boy is well acquainted with this “sexism”/”gender roles”. When my dad is the only one home, naturally he’ll ask him for his needs (food, drinks, snacks, etc.), but when my mother is home, or even I am at the house, he’ll demand one of us care for his needs. But yet my older brother who is at the house less often then my mother and I combined, never gets asked for a thing.¬†
    So if ¬†you’re all so caught up in “feminism” and hating that kids are still “being raised” to abide by gender roles, explain to me how a 5 year old boy ¬†who is growing up in a “modern family” still recognizes and acts in such “anti-feminist” manners?

  28. MichelleMcelwain¬†you should look for the video where kids were shown gay/lesbian couples proposing to each other…their reactions are pretty interesting.

  29. @guest¬†KenzieVictoria¬†…which doesn’t make some of the responses any lest embedded in and informed by sexism.

  30. I know this stuff can be true. I work with children and I hear it everyday. It’s sad sometimes, the things that they repeat, but sometimes…yea, it’s hilarious.

  31. @Sarah S did anybody actually doubt these were written by kids? Or was that just an excuse to bore us with your story

  32. @JC¬†Hey JC. I’m a College student who works with younger kids and have younger nieces and cousins between the ages of 1-16 and I will tell you that not every child is alike. But i’m sure you know that for you are a psychologist. So maybe you’re to narrow in your job, which is fine if you like it that way. No problems there but don’t label something as fake when it was very much real. I remember at 5 years old I found out I was adopted because i said. ” Mom, I am black, dad is black, and you are white. Why are you white and i’m not?” At five I could understand something as simple as pigment of skin made a difference in my mother and I even though I was treated as if i were their child. Also, 10 year olds are in 5th grade and are well capable of knowing what a date is… Some may have even been on one.. Are you sure you work with children over the age of 5? and 5 is being generous. No offense but I feel in such a way that you are not a psychologist.

  33. @guest¬†KenzieVictoria¬†but this is sexist… Just like the chips and dip. ¬†It manafests itself into the minds of the young. ¬†Men are all apparently uninteresting, lazy, slobs who couldn’t survive without their female counterpart.

  34. @guest KenzieVictoria 
    It’s because they are taught to talk like that. It’s because of silly gender roles that this happens.

  35. Having different opinions and outlooks on life is actually what makes the world a beautiful place. Negativity and hatred is what scares me about the world.

  36. He didnt say anything about women doing dishes and making dinner! Hes talking about morals and values. Im 23 and i could agree that kids were on a much straighter path back then as opposed to now! Kids are forced to grow up way to fast these days and it shows. These answers are harmless but some kids these days cuss like crazy, play violent video games all day, and grow up in a much more socially unstable world than in the 50s or 60s!

  37. Everyone has a right to be themselves. Regardless of gender. Or sexual orientation (as you creepily introduced to the conversation tho no one was talking about it). No one should be shamed into being someone they’re not.

  38. This is great! I wish we did more of this type of questioning. This really gives you an Idea of the children emotional Intelligence. The world is full of smart kids. Note to all children are always watching all of you.  If you know a child and talk with them they have learn something from you. You may want to ask. Although they may or may not tell you.

  39. This is hilarious, I for one think it’s true and something no one has mentioned is these kids might have older siblings. I’m the 3rd oldest of 9 and I know how my siblings talk, they understand sarcasm and humor very well, and being surrounded by older siblings they are a little old for their age in that regard. Also, I think especially with the younger ages, not to say that it isn’t true, but knowing a kids in the context of school is very different then spending time with them at home on a daily basis, where they are more comfortable and trusting.

  40. Freddie, swaggin’.
    Martin, superswaggin’.
    Lynette, ultra swaggin’.
    Craig, diabolical/next level swaggin’.
    Pam, future hottie/abysmal human being with multi-kids/divorces.  That one will be a guarantee.

  41. KenzieVictoria e_e I’m so sick of words with “ism” at the end.¬† Guys and girls are different and it is still more common for straight couples to fulfill these stereotypes and “gender roles”

  42. p7gab¬†Ummm, who says the kid is being ironic? ¬†He may truly believe that one of the roles of a woman in a marriage is to provide food/meals for the man & children. ¬†He’s merely stating that he loves sports & wants a spouse who will serve him chips & dip during games the way his mother probably does for his father. ¬†As a 10 y/o he’s absorbed gender roles from the environment but isn’t yet experienced enough to put them in context. ¬†At least he’s enlightened enough to know not all women want to keep a kitchen & play hostess all the time – which indicates that he doesn’t assume it’s natural for every woman to automatically choose that role. ¬†Just because this child’s parents (probably) conform to traditional gender roles doesn’t automatically make the household an unhealthy or abusive environment. ¬†One should remember there are still a LOT of isolated and/or homogenous communities across America, & this child simply may not be exposed to other lifestyle choices yet. ¬†As a woman, I find it heartening that he’s smart enough to make sure his & his future wife’s values and expectations of the other align before tying the knot!

  43. Kids aren’t dumb, guys. Whether they say these types of things depends on how talkative they are and their personality. I used to think deep thoughts all the time as a kid, even younger than these kids are.
    It’s true, too. When I was seven my mom told me I was going to forget most of the stuff that happened to me when I was a kid, just like back then I couldn’t remember being a baby. I didn’t like that idea at all, so I started a diary. And the things that are in it! I used to be extremely offended when adults didn’t take my ideas seriously. Or thought that I might swallow small toys.

  44. I have a three year old daughter. A few months ago she used the laundry room door, two walls, and the side of the stove to make a 3×3 ¬†foot cranny for herself. When I asked her what she was doing she calmly responded, “I’m going into my sanctuary”. Not only did she use a “big” uncommon word, but she used it correctly in a sentence. To this day I don’t know where she picked up that word let alone where she learned it well enough to remember it and apply it correctly. So do I believe that these quotes made by 7 and 10 year olds are real? Yes I do. You can believe what you will.

  45. fedupwithstupidpeople I can think of 2 reasons. He’s a psychologist, and he’s from California. Hope that answers your question.

  46. I am glad the kids came up with something cute – around here I have seen 6 and 7 year olds who look as cute and puppies but use language that could make a sailor blush. Kids repeat what they have heard their parents say or other adults. They don’t always interpret it straight and that is half the fun. Enjoy it ūüôā

  47. I am a school psychologist in 4 elementary schools in California. Some quotes are probably real, but most are outrageously worded or reworded by adults. The kids I work with say things that are a lot more insightful…and funny.

    The #1 fake: On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
    – Martin, age 10

  48. why do people always have to say something stupid…it is meant as something light and funny…not something to be debated! This world is falling apart because of people like you! Have a chuckle for God’s sake!!

  49. not living in the past¬†BruceSeibert¬†So .. tell me just how much better society is, now, than it was in the 50’s.

  50. @kbr¬†you MUST not have experience with kids… as someone who teaches kids to talk…. i can tell you, these could very well be genuine! you never know what will come out of kid’s mouths!

  51. Definitely real.. this sounds like something I would have said at age 8… maybe even before… around the time my dad told us we were the reason him and my mother fought all the time.. thanks for making me forever emotionally unavailable, dad…WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
    (1) Both don’t want any more kids.
    – Lori, age 8

  52. BruceSeibert Yes, it was so much better when women just knew their place… in the home cooking and what not, waiting for The Man to get home. Oh and don’t forget how awesome it was when you could put all those minorities in their place when they stepped out of line. And don’t get me started on those uppity poor people, all wanting equal rights and access to healthcare and education. Time moves on, some things change, this sort of rubbish about Ye Olden Days family values being better is pretty narrow minded

  53. You may have taught this age group for 4 years now, but that certainly does NOT make you an expert by any stretch of the imagination! I’ve worked retail since 1973, and one of my many different jobs has been selling children’s shoes. I have heard those kinds of things come out of the mouths of kids in that age group.

  54. AllisterQuinn¬†Clearly you don’t hang out with a lot of 6 year olds. So I wouldn’t be making such a comment.

  55. @different¬†Clearly some kids’ thought processes are more developed than others. I certainly remember what I was like, and I had thoughts like the above. You can’t be so narrow-minded and speak for all children, saying none of them are “clever” or “educated” enough to make such remarks.
    It doesn’t matter how you were. What matters is your own education, exposure, and background.

  56. this is so fake,¬† a 6-7 yo wouldn’t give those answers no matter how
    smart they are. these are answers only people with some experience in a
    relationship would give. you mean to tell me a 8 yo said “Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.”?? cool story bro.

  57. Interesting postings/comments here.¬† I do remember “Kids Say the Darndest Things” from years ago.¬† And they did say the darndest things!¬† Children are always listening, all the time.¬† They remember things Mom or Dad (or any person for that matter) may have said, no realizing the child is around.¬† Kids have so much more exposure to the crap on TV than we did.¬† Yes, we were much more innocent and na√Įve in our day (I’m talking about the 50’s/60’s here).¬† Children (are they???) are “wiser” and not at all afraid to speak their mind.¬† And, dammit, they are usually right!¬† Kids now are the future lawyers of America!¬† They can argue their way out of a paper bag!

  58. @different¬†My 2 year old niece last night was playing with her building blocks, said aunty look a castle. I distractedly feigned interest. She brings her barbie doll, ¬†sits her inside the “castle” then says “Sit down and wait for the knight to rescue you.” I questioned her and she said dora taught her about the knights. In this day and age, children’s thought processess are so advanced due to larger exposure to material, nothing they say amazes me

  59. p7gab It’s not fake, and, as a teacher, I would think you would want to have your facts straight before you make that kind of assertion.¬† These quotes are from Art Linkletter’s show “Kids Say the Darndest Things.”¬† They’re decades old so what you’re interpreting as sarcasm and ironic misogyny are just reflections of the times.

  60. Cjildren are constantly underestimated. My 15 month old grandson has a vocabulary of about a dozen verbal words, but can use sign language in full sentences. “Grandpa, I’m hungry. Please take me to the kitchen.” Yes, he says Please, Thank you, I’m sorry, and I want a hug.¬† What is sad about the kids comments above is the absence of innocence, and the cynical sarcasm of some of them.¬† I really miss the family values ’50’s and early ’60s.¬† Father Knows Best, the Donna Reid show, My Three Sons, and yes, Leave it to “Beaver,” and westerns like Have Gun-Will Travel, the Rifleman, taught values and morals that are totally absent in the cesspool of modern TV families.

  61. This is absolutely awesome!  I love the one about telling your wife she is pretty even if she looks like a truck! LOL

  62. This is absolutely awesome! If you think about it, some of the comments are a lot wiser than what it looks like on the surface they are not only funny and amusing, but divinely sincere and can definitely give adults some food for thought!

  63. Maybe it’s real maybe it’s fake. I’ve heard children speak this way and I too as a child thought intellectual thoughts. It’s sad that people think just because these are children that they can’t possibly have these opinions. Children are just younger versions of us, and I remember people always talking down to me when I was a kid just because of the fact. And I would get upset because although I didn’t know the word for it yet I felt belittled. You might have to use smaller words or whatever but kids understand a lot more then they get credit for. Don’t belittle them it makes them lose confidence, or it makes them try to grow up faster. But in all honesty adults have a lot to learn from children and when everything’s said and done, that stupid little kid is more than likely a better person then you are.

  64. It would be better to get answers from kids around globe and different upbringing styles.
    That would really be interesting.

  65. My niece is 7 years old and she says stuff like these kids all the time! She is very sarcastic and yes, she knows what that is. This is not fake and for the people who think it is, hang around and talk to some younger kids. They’ll give you some good laughs. Ps. my niece just said tonight, ” Why isn’t dinner ready yet mom? Dad and I are hungry, isn’t that your job?” So yes, this definitely isn’t fake. haha

  66. This was read on Cartalk years ago; I specifically remember the last line. So it’s not new, although that doesn’t make it any less entertaining.

  67. AllisterQuinn Have you ever been around a six year old?! They don’t know they’re being funny–they’re being honest.

  68. My favorite thing is that people think this is fake when there used to be a TV show about this! Kids Say the Darnedest Things. Google it for all those who think kids saying these types of things are fake. -_-

  69. “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.”
    -Alan, Age 10
    As someone who has taught in public schools for four years, this article is obviously fake and actually kind of insulting. Does the author truly want me to believe that Alan, of age 10, is not only sarcastic about what he looks for in women but also ironically¬†misogynistic? The amount of students in this age group who have enough confidence and intelligence to ironically answer this question is so incredibly small. Has anyone ever met a 10 year old who didn’t say anything about how pretty a girl is, how nice or caring she is when he considers “who to marry?” This answer either indicates an emotionally abusive and misogynistic household environment or answers that have been made up. I made an account to make this post because I have seen children who think this way and how uncommon it is in healthy households. Prayers for you all.

  70. I also think this is fake. I actually remember when I was a kid, I remember exactly how I thought, and am also able to think of how I would respond as a kid not including the future knowledge I gained when I actually became interested in girls.
    Can no one else actually remember that they were once kids themselves?

  71. My¬† 6 yr. old niece says so many incredible comments that whenever she speaks we’re riveted! I’d venture to say that kids today¬†are so much more insightfull than when we were their age.

  72. It’s funny you guys think this is fake. You either don’t have kids, or you have some boring ass kids. I have 3 and they use to make witty comments like this when they were 6, 7, & 8.

  73. Oh come on people! You think kids don’t have eyes and ears until they are 18? Geesh. Are any of you old enough to remember the “Art Linkletter show”? He had a questionnaire and answer segment in the show with youngsters every week. With questions and answers just like you see here.
    If you don’t see the “innocent intelligence” of children then you need to open your heart’s and mind to them more fully.
    This is not fake!!

  74. I’m having a hard time believing children this age said some of these things. I rarely even hear adults in their twenties string along these types of coherent sentences…

  75. AllisterQuinn¬†AbbeyLynn Although I can easily see how this could be made up, it also really depends, I feel like if you were to ask enough kids these questions 2-3,000 or so, I’m sure you’d get answers like this every now and again.. Especially depending on their upbringing. What if the kids in the video were all raised in Christian homes with conservative values with minimal worldly access like television and things of that nature? It’s all relative

  76. AbbeyLynnAllisterQuinnI stick to what I said. Kids say cute/funny/pure things, that’s true, and we should all listen to what kids say from now and then to remind us of innocence and what we came from! But they don’t make wise cracks about goldigging, sex, lying on dates or the age of consent. Come on, this guy has just fabricated an article to go viral and i think it’s actually exploitative. If you doubt me, perhaps I should mention the guy’s latest article is called “Bear Caught Trying To Steal Jet Ski”, where he actually considers the possibility that a grizzly bear was feeling a bit cheeky and decided to commandeer a jet ski…………………

    Now this is clearly real. This video makes me happy to be human!

  77. Come on guys, these answers are made up. Talk to a real kid and they`ll tell you something way more boring. Six year olds making wise cracks? Please….

    1. AllisterQuinn¬†You’ve been talking to the wrong 6 year olds! Kids absolutely say things like this ALLLLLL the time!

  78. Hilarious, love it. Makes me wonder what kind of things my son is going to come up with when he starts talking.

  79. Listen to Jesus and follow His instructions. I am an example of what not to do – 36 and still not married and no kids.Everything in life happens for a reason and shapes us for the future.


    (1) When they’re rich.
    – Pam, age 7
    I can tell she has a “great” mom

  81. I know this is just meant to be funny, but I find it a bit disturbing how steeped in gender roles and stereotypes these young kids already are.

    1. That was the first thing tht came to mind… these kids are supposed to be playing and not thinking of who to marry n how to make marriages work….

  82. Seriously, either these kids know too much or it is evident that kids understand grown up stuff when they see couples live out their marriages. + their piece of mind is totally unbelievable!!

  83. LMAO- this sounds like my 6 yr old son and his 9 yr old girl cousin. (Can you pick that up says my son).. why because I am the girl says my niece.. my son.. I thought you loved playing house Amber.
    It may sound sexist but the truth is just that simple. she likes house and pretend cleaning so he assumed she would enjoy helping him clean up.

  84. @Miriam¬†grammar Nazi! … there`s no problem using “who” here … language is dynamic and everchanging. If it wasn`t we`d all be speaking the same one language. In fact, English doesn`t even have any rules … it`s the people who decide how to use it.

  85. @Matthew Streib¬†“who” is perfectly fine. Language changes constantly unless you want to start sounding strange you have to change with it.

  86. @L¬†You seriously need a valium to lighten up. ¬†My goodness, they are just innocent ridiculous things that come out of kids mouths. ¬†Don’t make it out to be more than what it is…just a fun read.

    1. Diona¬†kids come up with these things because they see them, experience them.. they don’t just imagine them from nothing. Of course, they are kids and they say the silliest things sometimes and they clearly do not mean harm or mean to be sexiest. They don’t know what they are saying, they are parroting their environment.¬†
      You may find it funny, but I don’t. There’s nothing funny about the stigmas we set on things. IE: women love to shop, women want men with money, men watch sports. Marriage sucks. You’ll never be happy.

  87. This is a transcript to a cute little video of the kids from a while ago…I can’t find the video though!

  88. @Joseph¬†My 4 year old cousin wouldn’t have a problem with saying some of these things, so I’m sure if he would say them, along with another 4 year old my grandmother and I babysit, then I’m sure 8-10 year olds wouldn’t have problems saying them either.

  89. Many people  have lost their sense of humor nowadays. I am a  teacher and a mother of two, a boy and a girl, 10 and 6.  I have students with those names and they do say the funniest things ever. Enjoy and lighten up people. Nothing here is sexiest or scary, it is funny and sarcastic.

  90. Oh come on about the names. I know a girl named Rebelle and a boy named Hellion! I think these answers are from the old Art Linkleter show. lol!

  91. lighten up, people! first of all, who cares if the names are real or fake? if they are fake, good, they should be…to protect the kids’ identities.¬†
    and secondly, if you think these are unbelievable, clearly you haven’t been around kids much…they can say the funniest, weirdest, cutest and most sarcastic things! and it not that they learn it ALL at home from their parents…school, tv, friends play a large part in what they pick up. so puh-leeeeeeease lighten up and enjoy these comments!

  92. Of course people give their kids names like this. I come across kids with far weirder names every week. You are out of touch. The comments are really funny!

  93. I have worked with first, second, and third graders (ages 7-10) over the past 17 years. You would be shocked at what the children say at school. Most comments are very innocent. Stop being so cynical. Life is good, lighten up!

  94. Kids did and do say things like this and now that I have grandkids (3) I get great joy out of hearing the same sort of things of them. Every parent/grandparent can easily pass on things said. One of the favorite TV programs of the early 60 was Art Linkletter “The Breakfast Club” where he would do a segment called “Kids say the darndest things” where on live TV he would ask 5 or 6 kids questions. There was no ‘beeping’ back than and some times – – – – well it just made the rest of your day. AND to want to have children.

    Oh, and if you think those names are “strange”, you should have heard the tags on our grandparents back than. Most were biblical, some ethnic, some regional, but when I hear them today, they are still beautiful.

  95. Omg, how boring are you people that after reading this you’re focusing on whether the names are real? It’s common across all editorial platforms for names to be changed before something is published. Who cares? Have a laugh and move on.

  96. Sara: FYI: My granddaughter is five , and her name is Sophie, and there are many more out there. I honestly don’t know what all the hoopla is about the names. These days, lots of parents name their kids after family members. My granddaughter was named after my mother-in-law.
    Why does everyone have to analyze everything to death. Get a life, and just enjoy the humour for what it is.

  97. Oh jeez everyone below is so negative. These are cute, made me laugh. Good job! And none of the names seem ridiculous.

  98. How are these unbelievable? I have two kids and two step children. They some of the cutest crazy things but, of course we teach them these things. My 5 year old step son just said this past weekend and I quote, “This girl kissed me in school and now she thinks she’s pregnant.” Our faces >.< because what proceeded after that question was a follow up, "Where do babies come from?" Oh the story my husband told was amazing. I expect him to tell all his buddies tomorrow. ūüėČ He might just end up on this list. Haha

  99. They obviously didn’t use the kids real names. They can’t use the real names, its illegal to do that to minors.

  100. Yes, these are funny but only in knowing their 1960’s context. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t clearly reflecting some sexist times! And if you think these are funny in the context of our current times? I’m worried! I knew immediately these were not from our time, or were from somewhere that is a little behind the times. And i checked: these are from the 1960’s. These kids are mimicking the sexism from their parents and the times. It saddens me that more people didn’t see how sexist they were — which makes me wonder just how sexist people still are. I work with kids — they don’t say this stuff these days, but they do say hilarious stuff.

    1. lynn, come on girl. it’s written, there’s no tone to base off of, and your use of a word or phrase isn’t necessarily the same as another’s. personally, i have to try to find sexism in the sample quotes you used for your negative comment. children see the world from a much less sophisticated and much narrower perspective with obvious lack of experience considering–watch out–they’re kids! so doesn’t it make sense for them to utter words and phrases they’ve heard or believe, whether from reality or their imagination, and doesn’t it make sense that these phrases are often taken out of context? don’t we even as adults, sexist or not, like to make funny statements about the differences in people based on gender which are usually even more direct and outright than the funny statements of these KIDs? i for one do, because i’m light hearted and like humor, even if it isn’t always true in reality, life isn’t so serious. look for the good in things in life, lynn! a positive heart will make you a happy person! ūüôā

  101. Now, if Apple or Casey would have said this…. I think it would be a little more believable. If they were trying to hide their names for confidentiality purposes, they should have chosen names (beyond those here) and made them current POPULAR names. How many girls are named Sophie these days?

    1. I know 6 kids named Sophie! They range in age of 2-18 and numerous 18+. Very popular name for some time now…Seriously, are you people around children AT ALL?

  102. I have worked with kids for years, and yes, they WOULD say stuff like this! Many kindergarteners know the word “sex”, even if they don’t know all the details. People, don’t be so naive!

  103. I have 3 kids, 9 year old boy, 12 year old girl and 12 year old boy…my kids say stuff like this all of the time ESPECIALLY the 9 year old. All of you people saying “kids don’t say stuff like this” must have had abortions.

  104. I teach 7th grade and I’ve had students with almost all of these names. I agree some of the stuff is far fetched for 8-10 year olds, but the names is a weak argument for fraud.

  105. If you found sexism in this article then you’re one of those delightful people who finds sexism in EVERYTHING.

  106. Good point, everyone! PS, if a child is less than ten, they say what their parents say the most. That’s called ‘learning’ or at worst ‘mimicry’. Also, if a child is less than ten, DO NOT USE THEIR REAL NAME ON THE INTERNET. So yes, these names are fake. As they should be.

  107. I’ve worked with kids ages ranging 5 to 18 and trust me when I say these answers are completely believable. Remember the saying “Little ears have big mouths,” some of the kids are repeating things they’ve heard from their parents or based on their own experiences observing adults and their romantic relationships.

  108. This is verbatim from Wit and Wisdom from the Peanut Butter Gang: A Collection of Wise Words from Young Hearts circa 1994. As a prior teacher, yes, kids do say things like this, not made up.

  109. Too cute, all of these are published in one of Bill Cosby’s “Kids Say The Darndest Things” books. I’m not sure which one (or if there’s even more than one) but the whole book is adorable.

  110. Of course the names sound out of the 1960s. These are quotes taken from Art Linkletter’s Kids Say the Darndest Things, which aired in the 1960s.

    These have been circulating the internet for over a decade. Still funny, but get with the program, people.

  111. I have three kids, ages are 6,8,and 10. Believe me kids express themselves like this. If you listen and they are not afraid to confide things to you then these are definitely answers you’ll hear!

  112. Everyone needs to get off their high horses. If you find it funny, laugh. This was not meant to start a discussion on sexism… I regret reading the comments because it took the fun out of this page for me.

    1. I agree with you Mike. This is meant to make the reader smile or laugh, so just enjoy it. And if you can’t enjoy it for the entertainment value, then I feel sorry for you… but please don’t ruin it for the rest of us ūüôā

  113. funniest thing I have read on face book like EVER…… I’M A HAPPY SINGLE CAMPER w/ a great boy friend. Heading w/ him to Charleston this weekend. I’m paying 4 the the room, he’ll pay 4 the meals. good times ahead… : )

  114. I can’t believe how sexist the (asides) from the writer are.
    Freddie is “wise for his age” because he never wants to get married.
    Lynette is a “treasure” when she is says boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
    Anite gets a “bless you child” when she says Boys need someone to clean up after them.
    And of course, the last comment – the favorite.

    1. I think those (asides) were merely written for facetious purposes. Basically well meant sarcastic humor. Like, how someone who tells a racist joke doesn’t necessarily means he/she believes the stereotypes mentioned in the joke.

      1. Yeah, great argument, Sara. Think I’m gonna have to back Lynn on this one though. Seeing as A) she actually made a point and B) she didn’t insult anyone.

    2. haha chill, it’s just a joke. lighten up. Not all of this is believable to me tho, I feel like kids wouldn’t have that great of a vocabulary, i think the funnier stuff is when the quotes are more simple minded and reflect something believable that a kid would say and have people laughing. still funny tho

  115. Not only do I not believe these were said by children but there is a very slight tone of misogyny in your comments on these “quotes.” Not appreciated.

  116. The thing is I know kids that would say stuff like this, only waaaayyyyy funnier and almost much more unbelievable.

  117. The names aren’t even the reason people shouldn’t believe this…It’s just the stupidity in it that makes it unbelievable.

  118. Being a novelist I found the names totally believable. The people who don’t believe the names may be speaking about their own boring neighborhoods. Good job, guys.

  119. You do realize that everyone was a child once… right? So even though the names may seem weird to you, they are common, and totally believable as human names. I don’t get why people think that’s some kind of tell… Great work, amateur internet kids article detectives.

  120. Weird names? There are plenty of those names still being used. Now, if the names listed were names such as Ethel, Agnes, Gertrude, Chester, Bartholomew or Leroy, then it would be completely unbelievable.

  121. Kristin, Lori, Derrick, Pam? No one would ever name their kids these names. I don’t know anyone with names like this. Good job fellow commenter’s! We busted him, these are totally made up.

      1. I know many people with these names. I was mocking the first few commenters who said these sounded like made up names. The internet needs a sarcasm font.

  122. An 8 year old would never say the word sex. He would be too embarrassed. Kids really do say the darndest things, but this isn’t very believable.

  123. I seriously can’t imagine kids saying any of this. (and I noticed the weird names right off the bat) But it’s still funny stuff.

      1. I’m 23 and I’ve known at least one kid (my age or younger) with each of these names. Ricky is pretty popular and I’m close friends with an Anita.

    1. I was thinking the same thing while reading these things. Even Bill Cosby admitted that some of the stuff on his kid show was staged

    1. Nah, it’s more shameful even than that. Here’s instructions: Attach your name, write a quick blurb, and don’t mention you just found this the internet 3 years late goofing around on (I’m guessing) reddit. Ouch.

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